Dean’s Journey through Foster Care: Overcoming Adversity with Resilience and Compassion
As Dean bravely shared his story on-air, we got a peek into the challenges he faced as a kid navigating the foster care system. His story is a testament to the transformative power of love, resilience, and the critical role foster carers play in shaping the lives of the children they welcome into their homes.
Dean’s home life was devastated by drugs, alcohol and domestic violence.
The situation needed immediate intervention to keep Dean safe.
“My journey started at a pretty young age. I don’t remember a whole lot of it to start with, but I know my family were pretty into drugs and alcohol and all that sort of stuff,” Dean recalled.
Initially, Dean was put in respite care, spending weekends with foster families to give his mum a break. Dean’s younger brother and older sister were also impacted by the disruption of an unsafe home environment, and the three children were placed together during the initial phase of their foster care experience. “I remember being taken away from my mum… I lived with my mum, not my dad. He wasn’t on the scene”.
When Dean was around three years old, the pivotal decision was made to place him in the state’s care as a foster child due to the instability of his family environment. “I moved around a couple of times with my brother and sister between different foster families. Then I was put into long-term foster care,” Dean remembered. “When I was six, my brother and I were separated from our sister and we were put into a foster family for about five years.”
The sad truth is that a child’s experience of foster care varies greatly, depending on the individuals involved. Tragically, Dean endured significant abuse within one foster family.
The emotional roller coaster continued. Bouncing between foster families, with stays that often lasted only a few months, Dean didn’t have the security of a safe home base where he was known and could flourish. Continually having to adapt to new surroundings, new people, places and new schools was deeply unsettling. “For a period, I didn’t unpack my bags. I was too scared to because I didn’t know whether I’d be moving the next day,” Dean said. “I went to, about seven or eight different schools and I was still only in primary school’.
When he was nine, Dean’s life changed for the better. Dean was placed with a foster carer called Kelly, who would have a significant impact on his young life. Kelly showed Dean just how much difference a loving foster care home can make. The next four years in Kelly’s home gave Dean the positive, stable home life he was craving. “Kelly taking me in made a huge difference to my life. I didn’t actually realize how much she meant to me until I was about 24. It was Kelly who originally got me involved in soccer, and it’s a passion that has stuck as I now play at reasonably high level. She also got me involved in music and playing a bit of guitar”.
As a kid who’s seen the best and worst of the foster care system, Dean’s message to anyone considering becoming a foster carer is clear. Take the time to carefully consider if you’re ready to provide the unwavering support and understanding a sad, confused and hurting kid needs. Just like Kelly did for him. And go into it with your eyes wide open, knowing that vulnerable children will often come with emotional baggage.
“Just put your heart into it. But make sure that you’re a hundred percent into it, because those kids are people as well. And they’re scared and they’re angry. And they don’t know what’s going on.”
Today, Dean is happily married with a family of his own. Dedicated to the need to make a positive impact on other kids lives, he is now a caseworker himself, supporting other foster children. Dean’s story is a stark reminder of the complexity of the foster care system, where a child’s experience can vary widely depending on the foster family they are placed with. It’s also a testimony to the dedication of carers like Kelly who provide stable, compassionate foster care where children can truly thrive.
